Frist Vows to Attach Schiavo Amendment

Just imagine what Terri will do with her $100

Today the Senate Republicans proposed solving America's soaring energy costs by giving each American $100. The rumor is they will solve global warming tomorrow by offerring each person a cute little puppy. But back to today's big news.

At a press briefing outside of Heathcliffe Huxtable Memorial Hospital, Frist decided to take it one step further. "Why should living people be the only ones to benefit from the energy solvency forever bill? I say that puts an unfair burden onto the shoulders of our brain dead men and women. That is why I am proud to announce that I will attach The Schiavo Amendment to the energy bill."

But not everyone is pleased by the proposed legislation. "These nutjobs have actually written that this $100 giveaway will solve the country's oil problems forever. How ridiculous is that? So either I reject the idea that giving $100 to every American citizen will cure our dependence on oil or else I piss off every Joe Six Pack who votes for the person they would like to have beers with. Either way, Karl Rove will be all over my ass. I'll have to appear to be for the bill while also being against it at the same time. I need my blanket. Honey, I think I'm going to have to call in sick when they vote on that oil bill." Well, maybe that's not how John Kerry reacted to the bill, but that's what I belive he would say.

Regardless, this has the potential to be the biggest boom towards deceased Americans since Jesus saved them. As a disclaimer, it's obvious that the only reason Jesus came down was to help the Americans in the future. With the opportunity for heaven and the teachings of The Bible, Americans had the strength to rise up against the evil oppressor British.

As a side note, the Schindlers filed a lawsuit against the Schiavos claiming rights over Terri's $100 oil crisis is solved bribe.

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat
* conservative * liberal * congress * energy bill * Schiavo * Karl Rove * John Kerry * Jesus
* Bible * Schindler * oil crisis * legislation