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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

McCain Vows to Bring Back Touched By An Angel


While campaigning today in Deerfield Beach, FL, Republican presidential nominee John McCain told a group of supporters that if elected President, he would bring back the TV show Touched By An Angel. During the question and answer session in front of a group of older Americans (though strangely skewing younger than McCain), one woman asked McCain directly what he would do to make their lives better. After some uncomfortable silence followed by utterances that approximated English, McCain finally found his footing.

"My friends", McCain began. "I promise that as President, I will bring back the cast of Touched By An Angel under an Executive Order. During these uncertain times, we need all the help we can get. And nothing helped me through the tumultuous 90s better than the hip feel-good show I liked to call Touched By An Angel."

Before McCain could continue, the deafening silence overwhelmed him. Showing his true maverickness, McCain quickly pivoted to focus on Obama's plan to force Angela Landsbury to pose nude in an issue of Playboy. "My friends, Obama wants to shame America's way of life by having Angela Landsbury be the centerfold in an issue of Playboy. Some call it retribution for the harmless pranks that occurred at the country club Abu Ghraib. I promise that as President, Angela Landsbury will remain the chaste and virgin role model our daughters can aspire to become."

Within minutes of McCain's speech, hundreds of right wing blogs posted stories trumpeting Obama's plan for Landsbury to pose in Playboy. In addition, Rush Limbaugh plans to spend approximately half of his show on the topic tomorrow, assuming he tires of the discussion around things that woman might have done with her mouth to John Edwards' body. I suggest every thinking being avoid Limbaugh's show tomorrow.

Tags:

silly funny politics McCain Touched By An Angel Obama Angela Landsbury Playboy

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