Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Terrorists Caused My Badgers To Lose

Yeeesshhh, that wasn't even close last night. And yes, I am in mourning, thank you very much. If you live on another planet or something, my Wisconsin Badgers lost to Davidson last night. My name is Peter Hoskins and the only reasonable explanation for the loss are those darn terrorists.

So me and Billy Caldwell were allowed to have 2 ice cream sandwiches last night as we watched the game. Billy Caldwell is my best friend in the whole wide world and the best basketball player I know. So when he tells me something weird was happening last night I knew he was onto something. I mean, nobody makes so many baskets against the Badgers. They are like the greatest defensive team ever. Yet that was what Davidson did. And by the way, who is Davidson anyway. Maybe if it was Duke I could understand but Billy says he would never play for Davidson and so I'll never go to that school.

When I woke this morning, I had to check the paper to make sure last night wasn't just a bad dream. Billy was still sleeping so I snuck over to the kitchen and saw the score. Yeah, we loss. I must have started crying because the next thing I know Billy was standing next to me asking what was wrong as tears were pouring from my eyes. In a moment of clarity, I sobbed, "It's just not fair. Davidson only won because of the terrorists. They hate our way of life and they hate us. We are Wisconsin and we are America."

While Billy disagreed, I now know what happened. In their plot to hate us because of our freedom, the terrorists have sabotaged our NCAA Tournament, the greatest sporting event in the greatest country on Earth. Now, I still haven't figured out how they did it. It definitely wasn't with flubber, which has always been a fear of mine. But I think they have invented invisibility and had tiny invisible terrorists planted on the rims to make Davidson shots go in and Badger shots miss. Anyway, someone the terrorists caused my Badgers to lose.

-Peter Hoskins, Age 11


Peter Hoskins Billy Caldwell college basketball NCAA Tournament Wisconsin Badgers Davidson


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