Helena Bonham Carter Spawns

Ahhh... Helena. So what if you look and smell like a bag lady and are eccentric as a cat lady? So what if you just gave birth and you're ~10 years older than me. You got it going on in a muppetlicious way. I would dig if I could put up with your pretentious vibe.

Helena now has two kids with Sgt. Scissorhands (Tim Burton): A boy and a girl. I'm willing to wager that these kids will grow up to be straight edge dweebs. Either that or super jocks. There will be no in-between status. The kids will rebel from their parent's Gothic tendencies much to their bitter disappointment.

A queen amongst shopping cart people.

It is somewhat amusing to picture Helena and Tim showing up at Parent's Night. Decked out in black. Helena's mascara running, lipstick smudged. Cigarette in hand. Tim Burton looking like he was resurrected for the event and bored out of his skull. It will be most righteous to say the least.

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Helena Bonham Carter * Tim Burton
* spawn * evil * street people * family * gothic