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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Jake Roberts Puts Damien to Sleep


Today was a somber day in the Roberts household, as Jake "The Snake" Roberts had to put his beloved python Damien to sleep. After weeks of moping around the house and a refusal to partake in wrestling events, Damien succumbed to old age. A visibly shaken Roberts responded to media questions on Piper's Pit. "Damien was the greatest ever. Without him I never would have beat The Honky Tonk Man down in Memphis in '87. The odds were stacked against me, with The Man on his home turf. And after being Shake Rattle and Rolled AND hit over the head with a guitar, I thought it was over. But Damien sprung into action and subdued The Man until I could regain my strength. I put that Elvis hippie to sleep with my patented sleeper hold and it was the greatest day of my life."

Lately though, life has not been so blissful for Damien or Jake. After an illustrious wrestling career, Jake Roberts has struggled to get his life together. Throughout it all, Damien was by his side. And with the passing of Damien, Jake "The Snake" Roberts will once again have to start anew.

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