Carrot Top Syndrome is Real

Carrot Top Syndrome (CTS) is a very real and deadly psychological disorder where the sufferer believes that they are being chased in Los Angeles by a annoying substandard prop comic with flaming red curly hair holding a pay phone. Most patients report that the symptoms started shortly after the introduction of the 1-800-CALL-ATT commercial, which featured the comic.

"At first I thought I was going insane," said Dan Kowalski. "After doing some research on the Internet I found out I wasn't the only one who woke up sweating."

"It's simply unbearable," said Judy Whittle. "I can't sleep any more, and whenever I see a pay phone, I almost faint."

Some times the "Top" likes to freak out the squares by hitch hiking

Scientists have for years debated the existence of CTS. A September study in 2003 concluded that the incidences rose 75.9% since the introduction of the Carrot Top ad campaign. Since then the number of known cases has tripled.

Insurance companies at first refused to cover treatment for CTS, which involved shock therapy, nipple clamps, television abstinence, and a steady diet of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on whole wheat bread.

"The treatment was pure hell," said Dan Kowalski. "But it worked. I just feel bad there is no known cure for those suffering peanut allergies."

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Carrot Top * comedian * comic
* psychological disorder * Los Angeles * 1-800-CALL-ATT * commercial * pay phone * ATT
* phone company * shock therapy * nipple clamps * television abstinence * peanut butter and jelly
* sandwich * allergies