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Monday, July 17, 2006

When in Doubt Blame Bette Midler

Her Career Proves that Life is Crap

Hello Crapateers,
This is your fellow poster Mike K here. The last couple of days have been full of overwhelming crap. So thick is this crap that it threatens to swallow yours truly. It is not my intention to let my posting level fall below crapperific and cause life threatening crap brain drain. We love our audience, all twelve of you guys. You're simply great! To borrow a line from diva Bette Midler, you are like the wind beneath my wings or something. Yeah. I never met you and if I saw you I wouldn't know you from a piece of salami, but it's all good. You're great.

Speaking of which, none of you would be associated with the poop stain that gave me the finger on the Garden State Parkway? I mean honestly of all the nerve. There I was trying to dump a dead body and some honky has the nerve to blow their horn and give me the finger. I guess good manners are all out the window when it comes to Jersey driving.

I have no idea why they call it the Garden state. As my friend once observed, there isn't a freaking garden in the entire state. Ok that is a bit of an exaggeration. I know a guy who knew a guy who heard of someone who had a tomato patch. I am willing to wager it no longer exists due to all you weirdos who want to live and work here. Thanks kindly for f*cking up our roads and driving up the real estate. Some day I will blow this state and cash in for a house twice the size for half the price. Jersey is over rated.

This has done nothing to explain my absence and mediocre posting. I guess I will fall on the excuse, crap came up. The real reason is less spectacular. I'm trying desperately to finish my master's project and get through my work day as fast as possible. Yup, I've been working 16 hour days. Thank God it will soon be over or I will collapse of exhaustion.

Later,
Mike K

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2 Comments:

Blogger betmo said...

good luck- sounds like life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.

7/17/2006 06:15:00 PM  
Blogger melanaise said...

well, perhaps if mike emails me, I can tell him that I need someone better to blame than bette midler for the craptastic week I just had.

You won't believe it, but since I am not putting it on my log, and it is quite a story, feel free to email me.

-mel

7/23/2006 08:03:00 AM  

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