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Friday, July 07, 2006

Redman Startled He's Named an All-Star


International rap superstar Redman was startled recently when he saw he was named as an All-Star selection in the American League. "To be honest, I was extremely surprised. It has been 10+ years since I last played on a baseball team. Not to brag or anything, but I was pretty good. Who knows - if I didn't have the gift of rap, maybe I would have become a professional baseball player. I'm just honored to be representing my country and the Newark Royals."

Upon the release of the American League roster, Redman was barraged with phone calls from friends, family, and foes curious about his unknown skills. At least one friend was hurt by the news, feeling betrayed by the apparent secret Redman kept. "We've been friends for so long," said Method Man. "If anyone would have known that Redman was an All-Star caliber pitcher, it would have been me. I mean, we made "How High" together. Maybe I should stop smoking weed so much - if I can't even remember my best friend's occupation than the side effects may not be worth the high."

Besides Redman himself, no one was more surprised than his agent. "I was getting a little worried since I hadn't heard from him in so long. But I just assumed he was off partying and getting high. Who would have guessed he became a major league pitcher for the Kansas City Royals. And an All-Star at that. This would make a great movie and I have the perfect client for the starring role...Harold Perrineau, the guy who plays Michael on "Lost". Now that he's off the island I need to find him a new role. What? You thought I was gonna say Redman? Have you seen "How High"?"

After a few days in the media spotlight, it all came crashing down for Redman. "Apparently I wasn't named to the American League All-Star team," a disappointed Redman revealed. "There's a pitcher for the Kansas City Royals named Mark Redman. And he really sucks. Oh well, at least I have my pile of money and pounds of weed. Though I am thinking about getting back in shape and trying to make a comeback in baseball."

Redman wasn't the only person suprised that it was not the rapper who was named to the All-Star team. Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen: "Are you sure that's not the actor from "How High"? I really couldn't find an All-Star on the Royals roster so I thought why not pick someone who would be fun and entertaining at least. I was so looking forward to his exploits that were sure to cause riotous laughter. Guess this means I actually picked a crappy pitcher with a 5.27 ERA for an All-Star game. Actually, that's kinda funny."

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not amused - I guess all blacks look alike to you?

7/08/2006 01:50:00 AM  
Blogger Mike K said...

Dude. What are you talking about? It's a joke that both the rapper and the baseball player have the same name. Geez... laugh a little, there is nothing racist in that post.

7/08/2006 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger Tom G said...

Huh?

It's a joke because the Royals All-Star representative is Mark Redman. There is also a rapper named Redman. Get it, they have the same name. Good thing I didn't include the Royals pitcher Andy Sisco ("Thong Song" guy) and I believe they have someone else with a rapper's last name.

You're free to think it's not funny but there's nothing malicious or racist at all in the post.

7/09/2006 01:14:00 PM  

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