Thursday, June 22, 2006

Prior Wins Simulated Contest

Prior gets recognized for his thrilling victory in a simulated hot dog eating contest

While most news has focused on Kerry Wood the past few days, the Chicago Cubs did receive a piece of good news. Today Mark Prior won a simulated hot dog eating contest, consuming 125 simulated hot dogs in 10 minutes. Facing off against a bunch of empty chairs, Prior had no problems defeating them in this eating contest, the first step in his rehab to greatness. In fact, he showed impeccable stamina and resiliency as he shoveled air imagined as hot dogs into his mouth while drinking an imaginary glass of water. There are no truth to the rumors that Prior is now in demand from improv troupes around the city for this sensational display of object work. But it is true that he plans to feel pain in his arm during his next start, conveniently occurring after he serves up a long home run to some weak hitting middle infielder.

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