Life is Crap: Jason 6

Jason's back and this time he's pissed

Well, Jason's back. I won't bore you with too many details, but the basic plot continues. In the final installment of the Tommy Jarvis trilogy, Tommy is concerned that Jason is not really dead. So he heads to Jason's grave with a buddy (Horshack!!!) - apparently they escaped from a mental hospital but this angle is quickly forgotten. They dig up the grave and see a decomposed Jason. Tommy freaks out and puts a metal rod into Jason's stomach. It's raining, so lightning strikes the rod and somehow brings Jason back to life. Tommy escapes in the car but Horshack unfortunately is killed.

Since Jason's pissed, he kills anyone in site. And I mean everyone. This includes some corporate warriors on a paintball outing and a couple having an evening picnic. Really they are just used to inflict generic horror movie gore.

The premise, besides Tommy, is the start of a summer camp. The kids actually arrive, making this the first Friday the 13th movie featuring campers. Of course the counsellors are brutally murdered at just the right time to invoke terror (in a generic sense). Tommy tries to warn the cops but goes back and forth between jail and escape and making out with the sheriff's daughter until he makes his way to the camp. This leads to the inevitable showdown with Jason. In one of the worst mano a mano struggles every on the silver screen, Tommy tries to get a chain around Jason's neck that's locked to a rock. Apparently the only way to kill Jason is to send him back where he came from. This is of course successful, at least until Part 7?

This was much better than Part 5 and the scares weren't bad. Basically, this movie was probably a staple on USA late night in the '90s. Unfortunately, it's much worse than Parts 1-4, so I must rate it Generic Slasher. I have also decided to reclassify Part 5 as Craptacular - I never want to see that movie again. Onto the fun stuff:

Horshack from "Welcome Back Kotter" gets killed in the beginning. Yes, Horshack!!! For those keeping score at home, that makes Crispin Glover, Corey Feldman, Dudley from "Diff'rent Strokes" and Horshack in Friday the 13th movies. And we'll continue to keep track here at Life Is Crap - it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I'm confused by the whole opening but will keep it brief. Why did Tommy have to dig up Jason's grave to prove he was dead? And did they really escape from a mental hospital? If so, that may explain it. Otherwise, I just don't get it as a premise to begin the movie. Wouldn't it make more sense for a bunch of teenagers to dig the supposed serial killer up? It could have been a bet or something. Again, I think if I was traumatized by a killer I would stay very far away from where they reside, whether in a home or a grave.
There is a new crazy old man. This time it's the grave digger who can't stop drinking. Of course he ends up getting killed by the bottle - Jason slashing his throat with the bottle that is.
A guy we all recognize from endless appearances in TV shows and movies gets killed by Jason while playing paintball. I remember him from a "Family Ties" episode where they have a wake for Aunt Trudy in their home the same day as a garage sale. He's the guy haggling with Alex over a lamp. They play the same 10 episodes every 2 weeks on a station in Chicago.
There's a dartboard on the door entering the boys camp room. Just pointing it out, but how many dart injuries did Jason actually prevent?
Jason's head is weird. First, it's not deformed like in Parts 1-4. Second, blood comes out when the motor is run over his head. When did blood start flowing through his body again? The premise is he comes back from the dead. Apparently that includes blood flowing through his veins again. Maybe this will be explained in later episodes - we can only hope to be so lucky.
I'm confused by the ending. How exactly is forcing Jason to the bottom of the lake sending him back to where he came from? Maybe this is just Tommy's impression given the folklore behind Jason - that he actually drowned as a teen. But then if he already was dead then why would Tommy think he could kill Jason now? And how come the police never investigate the lake to find Jason's body? This sounds like something the government should be very interested in.
Why is Tommy not suspected in the murders? There are 10+ murders at the lake with a mental patient escapee as one of only 2 survivors and no one thinks to question him. And if they questioned him, why wouldn't the police look in the lake for Jason?

So here's the recap with the new rankings:

Terror Sweats

Part III

Part IV

Horrorific

Part II

Part I

Generic Slasher

Part VI

Craptacular

Part V

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Jason 6

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