Negative Stereotype Fights Copyright Infringement at Construction SiteIt is widely known fact that Donkey Kong clan has held a grudge against Mario since 1981, when Mario fought hard to save his girlfriend Pauline from (King Kong Sr.) Cranky's paws. To add insult to injury, Mario chains the beast and he is rescued by his son: Donkey Kong Junior.
Donkey Kong Senior, never loved Pauline, she was kind of bland in comparison to other pixilated babes at the time; terrible company: constantly screaming, flailing her arms, and running back and forth like a hyena on acid. Mario had her committed to the local insane asylum shortly after he rescued her. This was of course after a wild night of passion, which is too X-rated to mention in this article. I sat down with Donkey Kong Jr Jr, the grandson of Cranky to discuss how this family debacle with the Mario clan began.
MK: So you are the grandson of the original Donkey Kong?
DKJJ: Yes, I am Donkey Kong Junior Junior. You can also call me DKJJ, DKJ II, DK III, DKJ^2 , or DK^3 .
MK: How come there is not a lot of originality in the names?
DKJJ: We have a legacy to maintain. Otherwise noone would have bought my game: Donkey Kong country.
MK: That makes sense. Why does your family hate Mario?
DKJJ: Isn't it obvious? He charged my grandfather $85.61 to fix his clogged up toilet. When grandfather got the bill, he was so enraged, that he captured Mario's girlfriend in defiance.
MK: Did your grandfather ever pay that bill?
DKJJ: No, $85.61 was the equivalent of 179.32 in today's money. That is crazy! I tell you that plumber was racist against us apes. That is why he charged him so much!
MK: I heard that he is a damn good plumber though.
DKJJ: I suppose, but not extremely fit. Sure he could jump over flaming barrels and climb a few ladders, but he was constantly getting injured. The showdown Grandpa gave him at the construction site was legendary!
MK: So Mario chained your Grandpa because he wouldn't pay the bill?
DKJJ: Yeah. Can you imagine the humiliation that we suffered? Us Kongs were subjected to ridicule. Thank God, my dad saved him.
MK: I heard people didn't care that much though.
DKJJ: People are racist. They sided with that *%&%&## walking negative Italian stereotype. Meanwhile, dad is getting the heat at school. He actually got hit in the nose by Pac Man Jr. over it. Can you imagine?
MK: Yes, I can. I banged my head on the bathroom sink while trying to hang a clock over my toilet, the other day. When I came to, I drew an image of that event.
DKJJ: You did? Can I see it?
MK: Yes. Here it is.
DKJJ: Wow, that is extremely accurate portrayal. How did you know that principal Dig Dug broke up the fight?
MK: This interview is over.
DKJJ: It is? I was going to talk about how the toilet got clogged up!
Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * arcade * Dig Dug * Pac Man
* Donkey Kong * nintendo * atari * sony * playstation * sega * stereotype * plumber * italy
* italian * plumber * video game
Man, I played that freaking game until I beat it when I was in labor with my first child. Have to have those priorities. I only have an old atari and nintindo and only play the old pac man, donkey kong, mario, etc.
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