Pillsbury Dough Boy Returns to Private Life

The Pillsbury Dough Boy alias Scott McCellan has had a rough 3 years saying "no comment" to every question posed by reporters. He's tired. He misses the good old days when people would poke him in the stomach and he would elicit a high pitched gleeful snicker. Not to mention all the benefits he received; All you can eat: hot rolls, fresh baked cookies, pizza, strudel, cinnamon rolls, pancakes, and pie crust. The only benefits Scott has been getting lately are ulcers, hair loss, and angry faces.

It wasn't always this bad. When President Bush brought the Pillsbury spokesperson into his administration, the public was very receptive. The Iraq war, changed everything for the worse.

"The job used to be poppin' fresh. Now it is like freezer burned cookie dough," said Scott. "The president instructed me to keep saying "No Comment," it worked for a little while, but they just wouldn't stop. It was like a bake sale that I was at back in '77."

"We owe the Dough boy a lot for his service to this great nation," said the president. "I look forward to seeing him in new commercials promoting products that our nation loves like crescents, toaster scrambles and my personal favorite: ready to Bake Refrigerated Cookie Kits with Edible Image Decorations. If I'm a good boy and get my legislating done, Laura will make me the Easter Bunny ones. Mmmmm... Easter Bunny cookies."

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat
* conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * cookies * Pillsbury
* Dough Boy * Scott McCellan * Iraq * pancakes * pizza * cinnamon roll * press secetary
* White House * Karl Rove