Pee-Wee Herman: Masturbation Poster Boy

I always thought that Paul Reubens was treated unfairly. Let the first person who hasn't masturbated in an adult movie theater cast the first stone. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Ferris? That's what I thought, you are all guilty! What a crowd of perverts! You people make me sick.

Masturbation and sex acts involving the rich, famous, and powerful were all the rage in the 1990s. We don't credit Reubens enough for ushering that era in with his 1991 arrest. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders told us in 1994 that it was part of human nature and it should be taught. It also worth mentioning that she was not just a promoter she was also a performer.

President Clinton led the nation by example by receiving a Lewinski to the outrage of Republicans everywhere. Rush Limbaugh who got his start in the 1990s masturbates to his own ego daily on the radio. Even my dog got his groove on with his stuffed lamb proving that this wasn't a trend limited to us humans.

It became extremely popular to talk about other people's masturbation habits, but never to mention our own. I've tried talking about it multiple times to anyone who would listen. They ended up looking at me like I was crazy. A lot of girls even told me that I was being "creepy" or I was "totally grossing" them out. Finally I got the hint and stopped talking about it altogether. This raised a lot of unaswered questions though, which I hope will get answered here:

• What is our fascination with self love?
• Why do we care if someone partakes?
• Do we really care about vision loss enough to issue a jihad against masturbation?
  

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * republican * democrat
* conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * masturbation * Pee Wee Herman
* Paul Reubens * Clinton * Lewinski * Rush Limbaugh * Surgeon General * Jocelyn Elders
* Ferris Bueller * talk radio * society * pornography * masturbate * adult