Jason 5

What's the deal with gouging eyes in Part 5?

Well, here we go. I knew this day was coming, but I must admit it arrived later than I thought. Starting with Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning, these movies have reached a whole new level. To signify this, I must rate Part 5 Generic slasher. While not quite unwatchable, it offers little more than any generic slasher movie. The story hardly matters; rather, everything just exists in order for gruesome deaths to occur. Definitely the weakest in the series so far, I hope the rest at least remain in this realm. Or else this exercise is going to become very difficult to finish.

Part 5 opens with Corey Feldman in the rain near a grave for Jason Voorhees in the woods for some reason. He hears some people approaching and hides behind some bushes. The two guys dig up the grave and suddenly get a machete through themselves (why would anyone bury Jason with a machete?). Jason gets up and starts chasing Corey. Alas, it was all a dream by a now grown up Tommy Jarvis, who's about to be released into a halfway house. Apparently he's been in mental health facilities since he butchered Jason.

I should now explain that this continues the trilogy of Tommy Jarvis movies. He will reappear in Part 6 to battle Jason again. However, in this movie all he really does is walk around like a zombie and see mirages of Jason. I guess they were trying to trick you into thinking he was killing the people. If so, they did a very unconvincing job.

So once Tommy gets taken to the halfway house, murders start happening in Camp Crystal Lake. I know, I'll get to that later. We see the first one - dude chopping wood gets fed up with annoying fat dude and hacks him to pieces. Murders continue throughout the area without us ever seeing the murderer. This is supposed to make us wonder whether it's Jason or Tommy or maybe that dude in the beginning. For some reason multiple teens get killed with the added benefit of blinding them - more on this later. It all comes down to the chick counsellor at the halfway house, Tommy, and Dudley (yes, Dudley was "Different Strokes" fame). At this point we see Jason in what's supposed to be a very dramatic scene - how is he alive? It's not. They all enter the barn. One thing leads to another until Jason falls onto a bed of nails and dies. However, the mask comes off of Jason and it turns out it was not really Jason. It was someone pretending to be Jason - the orderly from the first killing. Apparently the annoying fat kid was his son and seeing him dead lead him to murder. Pretty unbelieveable stuff - more on this later.

• Why would they place Tommy Jarvis in a halfway house in Crystal Lake? They basically decided to take this mentally unstable person and bring him back to the area where he witnessed a serial killer murder. It's unbelievable that the mental health community could not find another place for him to go.
• It's rather disturbing that the teens killed in this movie are troubled teens. It's one thing in the other movies for horny teens going to party are murdered. However, this movie the teens are a hodgepodge of dysfunction. There is the clearly mentally retarded fat kid, the traumatized Tommy Jarvis, the clearly mentally unstable/maybe retarded stuttering kid, etc. How is it even acceptable to have a movie based on the premise of killing teens with mental problems? Then again, Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors was sorta based on the same premise.
• What was the deal with the 1950s greaser teens? This movie was filmed in 1985 and everything else about it has it in that time frame. Yet the teens fixing their broken down car are clearly greasers from the '50s. Either there was a disruption in the time space continuum or Crystal Lake was being overrun with leather clad biker gangs. If the second, I think you could say those killings were justified.
• Why does the killer feel the need to gouge so many of the teens eyes when murdering them? It's actually quite disturbing. I assume the director had a rationale for this but he never fully explored or explained it. At the end of the day, it's just another puzzle in this rather confusing entry into the Jason movies.
• The rationale for the orderly going on the killing rampage makes absolutely no sense. According to the movie, he finds his son murdered. However, he never made contact with his son. Yet the murder angers him so much that he starts a rampage. He cares enough about a son he never supported (an orphan so it's even worse than leaving him with just a mother) to avenge his death but not enough before the murder to even tell him he's his father. The other unrealistic aspect is the fact that he assumes Jason's identity for murdering. How does he get the costume so fast and have it look so realistic? He obviously had it lying around and was looking for a reason to murder. I think the police needed to investigate his paternal claim. I'm just saying - I doubt he was the annoying fat kid's father.

Well, Part 6 will hopefully be better though I'm not expecting anything. I am prepared for the awful Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason Goes to Hell, and Jason X. Let's hope the next 2 are at least somewhat entertaining.

Below are the rankings so far. Since I feel that Parts 3 and 4 are really much better than the rest, I'm revised my groupings.

Terror Sweats

Part 3

Part 4

Horrorific

Part 2

Part 1

Generic Slasher

Part 5

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Friday the 13th * slasher
* hollywood * movies * actor * actress * celebrity * Corey Feldman * Crystal Lake * biker gang
* Halloween * Life is Crap * Film Review * murder * horror