Is Bob the Next Jesus? (The Church of the SubGenius)

I always wondered if any religious options existed for those opposed to religion. Not that I was interested in joining such a cult, because that would require eternal damnation and dedication. The Church of the SubGenius seems to be the most logical choice for anti-religous folks. The advantages include: a kick ass mantra, insane beliefs, resonable rates, and minimal work. No wonder why Paul Reubens, David Byrne, and Bruce Campbell are members! The basic philosphy is as follows:

The Church Of The SubGenius is an order of Scoffers and Blasphemers, dedicated to Total Slack, delving into Mockery Science, Sadofuturistics, Megaphysics, Scatalography, Schizophreniatrics, Morealism, Sarcastrophy, Cynisacreligion, Apocolyptionomy, ESPectorationalism, Hypno-Pediatrics, Subliminalism, Satyriology, Disto-Utopianity, Sardonicology, Facetiouism, Ridiculophagy, and Miscellaneous Theology.

That's a bit wordy so I'll get into some of the beliefs. All members are called SubGenii, but true SubGennii are descendents of the Yeti. This can be determined by the amount of hair displayed on the buttocks.

The central figurehead of the religion is J. R. "Bob" Dodds, (Pictured Above.) who was the best drill bit salesman of all time. According to legend, "Bob" founded the the Church after he saw a vision of Jehovah-1 on his homemade TV. Since that time Bob has been killed and returned from the dead multiple times.

The central belief is the pursuit of Slack (Personal freedom and independence). Everyone was born with Original Slack which was stolen by world wide conspiracy commited by normal people (pinks). The church encourages originality as a way of combatting pinkness which occurs when you accept the restraints of society.

I have to admit, the more I read, the more it makes sense. For more information about the religion consult wikipedia and visit the SubGenius website.

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * religion * SubGenius * Slack
* Bob Dodds * J.R. Dodds * Jehovah * David Byrne * Paul Reubens * Bruce Campbell * Scientology
* Mormon * Catholic * Protestant * church * Jewish