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Friday, November 23, 2007

Buster Douglas Eagerly Awaits Patriots Loss


Not everyone has been thrilled with the Patriots 2007 Demolition Tour of the NFL. Some say they are being unfair and running up the score, practicing poor sportsmanship. Others are still outraged by SpyGate and equate the Patriots and Bill Belichick to Barry Bonds and steroids cheating. One man though has been absolutely thrilled with the sucess of the Patriots. He is former heavyweight champ/video game maven Buster Douglas, forever known as the guy who improbably beat Mike Tyson in arguably the biggest sports upset of all time. For if there is one thing Douglas knows, it is that the invincible ultimately lose. And when that loss occurs, he will be back in the news. For just a few months ago his picture was plastered over ESPN and other media outlets after Appalachian State's upset of Michigan. And when New England finally loses, he will regain his rightful place in the media spotlight.

When Life is Crap had our traditional Thanksgiving dinner with Buster Douglas, he was in good spirits. For he had a lot to be thankful for this year. "Man, my name recognition is trending upwards after years of steady declines. Based on data ending Oct 21, 2007, 15% of the US knows who I am. While that's below the 78% high I once enjoyed, it's better than the 10% just YA. With a couple more monumental upsets, I could break into D-List range. I'm poised for a comeback. Who's gonna turn who down for the Surreal Life this year, bitches?"

When asked for the weirdest encounter this year, the talk turned to a grocery store clerk reminding Buster of the worldwind of yore. "Yeah, it's been crazy. So right after the Appalachian State game my phone is ringing like crazy. And it's not collection agents but actual media people wanting my perspective. I decide I better stock up on some food so I head over to the Kroger. And wouldn't you know but everyone was just straight staring at me like I just knocked out Mike Tyson. Which I did in 1990, thank you very much. As I'm about to pay this grocery store clerk asks me if I needed any help with my groceries. Me! It's perks like that which showed me I was on my way back, bitches."

As talk turned to the Patriots, Buster could not hide his gigantic grin. "Boy, when that day comes I'm gonna be mentioned throughout the country. I thought there would be no topping the Appalachian State moment but the Patriots will be bigger. Who knows, maybe they'll make a James "Buster" Douglas Knockout Boxing 2, bitches."

When we finally parted after saying our tearful goodbyes, we couldn't help but feel a little proud of our man Buster. He is truly a man on the move. All it will take is a Patriots loss. GO EAGLES!

Tags:

*sports*football *NFL*New England*Patriots*Buster Douglas*upset*Tyson*Appalachian State

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