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Friday, February 09, 2007

Heaven Right Now

Latest reports from heaven tell us that Anna Nicole Smith is riding Barbaro, preparing to face off with Christopher Reeve and Mr Ed in a race to end all races tomorrow.

I'm just not sure if I can go on anymore. First Barbaro, now Anna Nicole. Thanks 24 hour news stations for keeping me up to date on the latest news (this just in - Barbaro and Anna Nicole are still dead. There are still 2 days left for Anna Nicole to make her Jesus Christ return). It's not like there's nothing else newsworthy. Oh yeah, the thoroughly debunked Pelosi story is still garnering coverage. Well, I'm just glad we don't have men and women in harm's way. And I'm excited that we finally ended that poverty issue. And it's great that crime is so low we've started busting people for jaywalking.

Thanks! I don't need to die, I'm already in heaven.

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