The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was walking through the woods when he stopped and reflected:
"What majestic trees!"
"What a powerful river!"
"What beautiful animals!"
As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the brush behind him. To his horror, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging full speed towards him. He ran as fast as he could, but the bear was closing in on him fast.
He checked over his shoulder one last time, but it was already too late. He tripped over a tree root and fell.
He looked up and saw the bear reaching for him with his left claw, poised to destroy him with his right paw. At this precise moment the Atheist cried, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
A bright light shone upon the scene, and a booming voice came from the sky...
"You deny my existence for all these years... and try to teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident? Do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now. Perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said God.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The bear brought both paws together. Solemnly bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * atheist * prayer * Christian
* nature * humanity * grizzly bear * hypocritical * religion * amen
"What majestic trees!"
"What a powerful river!"
"What beautiful animals!"
As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the brush behind him. To his horror, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging full speed towards him. He ran as fast as he could, but the bear was closing in on him fast.
He checked over his shoulder one last time, but it was already too late. He tripped over a tree root and fell.
He looked up and saw the bear reaching for him with his left claw, poised to destroy him with his right paw. At this precise moment the Atheist cried, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
A bright light shone upon the scene, and a booming voice came from the sky...
"You deny my existence for all these years... and try to teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident? Do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now. Perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said God.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The bear brought both paws together. Solemnly bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * atheist * prayer * Christian
* nature * humanity * grizzly bear * hypocritical * religion * amen
posted by Mike K at 2/06/2007
2 Comments:
And then the bear got yelled at by Mama Bear for missing the hour long service 2 days earlier.
Good stuff Mike!
Our Christian President George W. would love this post, Mike.
Praise God!
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