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Monday, January 22, 2007

Corey Haim: Busting Myths

Why do people laugh when they hear the name Corey Haim? This is a dedicated and serious artist who has starred in countless memorable films such as: Lucas, Lost Boys, License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream, and Prayer of the Roller Boys.

Canada's Most Cherished Export (After Beer.)

His most over looked film and perhaps his best was "Busted." Released in 1996 most critics tragically dismissed this ground breaking film. This is an injustice! Busted was perhaps the first film about a police academy, which in effort to curb prostitution employed hookers as police officers. It was also Corey Feldman's directorial debut.

Busted was simply "too awesome" for it's time.

I would give the film 5 stars, but I have to knock 4 and 1/2 off due to the lack of Corey cohesion. I obviously blame Feldman whose Michael Jackson hero worship clouded his better judgement in the 90s. There are a lot of rumors going on throughout the internets related to this film, which I would like to address.

Myth 1:
Corey Haim's noticeable absence in Busted was due to drug use.

Fact:
Corey Haim was upset that his long time "pal" was ignoring his "great" ideas. Reportedly Haim wanted to bang a prostitute while drinking chocolate milk. A knock on the door causes him to look up, and the camera is suppose to do a close up on Haim's bewildered face complete with milk mustache! Feldman dismissed this idea saying that no one in their right mind would believe that a manly character like "Clifford" would drink chocolate milk. Also the lack of Haim was a coordinated effort. It was suppose to leave the audience panting for more Corey.

Myth 2:
Corey Feldman was on drugs during the shooting and production of Busted.

Fact:
There is no way that could happen! Feldman was working his ass off. He put his heart and soul into this production. Sure he might have done a few snorts of coke, but it always during the off hours and during breaks. Corey Feldman is a professional!

Myth 3:
Busted is neither funny or entertaining.

Fact:
A police station that employs hookers! What planet are you on? That is f*cking hilarious! Everything else in this film is extra.

Myth 4:
Busted is like a bad version of Police Academy.

Fact:
Busted has hookers. Police Academy had Steve Guttenberg and a guy who could make sounds using his mouth. Police Academy had a character named Hooker, but she didn't take her clothes off. F*cking idiots! These are two drastically different films.

Myth 5:
Corey Haim looks out of it in every scene of Busted.

Fact:
No, his character "Clifford" looks out of it in every scene. It's called acting people. Haim is a professional. He would never use drugs. I believe he dismissed his drug use in his ground breaking documentary: "Me, Myself and I." Watch it! I'm tired of the Corey lies.

"Me, Myself, and I" has dispelled many Haim rumors.

Myth 6:
Corey Haim never worked again after Busted.

Fact:
Did you ever see Demolition High, Demolition University, Fever Lake, and Never too Late? I didn't think so. And you call yourself a Corey Haim expert? Ha!

Myth 7:
Those films suck.

Fact:
How can you judge a film you have never seen? These could be the quintessential movies of our time; Better than the Graduate, Deer Hunter, and the Muppets Take Manhattan. Seriously.

Myth 8:
Corey Haim never worked again after these films.

Fact:
Corey Haim has a new TV show with Corey Feldman airing soon on E. Also the long time cult film, Universal Groove is being released! It looks like the world is ready to fall in love with Haim all over again.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck yeah!

Thank you.

I feel less stressed than a masturbating yak...if they can masturbate with hooves.

1/22/2007 11:25:00 PM  

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