The Sledge-O-Matic
I recently bought a sledge-o-matic from the Leo Gallagher store. For those in the unknown, this is the end all be all home appliance for slicing, dicing, and demolishing just about everything in sight from watermelons to computers and gnome lawn ornaments.
Gallagher with his world famous sledge-o-matic
The only drawback is that the results can be rather messy. I highly recommend using a 100 square foot tarp for your sledge-o-matic work station. The tarp should cover not only the floors, but the adjacent walls too. Better yet, construct an enclosure complete with walls and ceiling that can easily be hosed down after operation. If at all possible, your sledge-o-matic work station should be located outside.
The sledge-o-matic came with very few instructions and there were no safety warnings at all. After a wayward spring from a computer keyboard almost took my eye out, I decided to wear safety glasses. But this is just a small quibble for such a fantastic device. It really does perform beautifully. Perhaps it was my own stupidity for not being more careful. As the product label states, "By using this device you accept full responsibility for the outcome. In no way will Gallagher Enterprises accept responsibility for those maimed by using or as result of using the sledge-o-matic. This includes innocent bystanders."
I'm happy to report that I have not been seriously injured yet although I am well aware that this might change in the near future. The probability for injury increases exponentially with each use as stated in the manual. I did some research on the Internet and have found several cases where people were seriously injured by the sledge-o-matic. Then again, that is only several people, not nearly enough to discourage use of such a fine tool.
One of my friends commented that it looks like a glorified sledge hammer. I protested at first, but after comparing it to several sledge hammers on the market, I think he might have a point. Then a shudder of fear went throughout my body. Did Gallagher rip me off? Is this just a repackaged sledge hammer? The main difference that I can see is that I paid $150.00 online for the sledge-o-matic and it came with an instruction manual and a legal disclaimer. You can go to any Home Depot and get a sledge hammer for around $35 and it has no instruction manual. There is obviously a huge difference. Any idiot can see that. Any ways, I recommend that you go online and buy a sledge-o-matic as soon as possible while supplies last.
Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Sledge-O-Matic * Gallagher
* comedian * 80s * Internet * Home Depot * Leo * warning * injury * lawsuit * sledge hammer
* watermelon * instruction manual * disclaimer * home appliance * desctruction * demolishing
* slicing * dicing * commercial * consumerism * stupid * prop comic
Gallagher with his world famous sledge-o-maticThe only drawback is that the results can be rather messy. I highly recommend using a 100 square foot tarp for your sledge-o-matic work station. The tarp should cover not only the floors, but the adjacent walls too. Better yet, construct an enclosure complete with walls and ceiling that can easily be hosed down after operation. If at all possible, your sledge-o-matic work station should be located outside.
The sledge-o-matic came with very few instructions and there were no safety warnings at all. After a wayward spring from a computer keyboard almost took my eye out, I decided to wear safety glasses. But this is just a small quibble for such a fantastic device. It really does perform beautifully. Perhaps it was my own stupidity for not being more careful. As the product label states, "By using this device you accept full responsibility for the outcome. In no way will Gallagher Enterprises accept responsibility for those maimed by using or as result of using the sledge-o-matic. This includes innocent bystanders."
I'm happy to report that I have not been seriously injured yet although I am well aware that this might change in the near future. The probability for injury increases exponentially with each use as stated in the manual. I did some research on the Internet and have found several cases where people were seriously injured by the sledge-o-matic. Then again, that is only several people, not nearly enough to discourage use of such a fine tool.
One of my friends commented that it looks like a glorified sledge hammer. I protested at first, but after comparing it to several sledge hammers on the market, I think he might have a point. Then a shudder of fear went throughout my body. Did Gallagher rip me off? Is this just a repackaged sledge hammer? The main difference that I can see is that I paid $150.00 online for the sledge-o-matic and it came with an instruction manual and a legal disclaimer. You can go to any Home Depot and get a sledge hammer for around $35 and it has no instruction manual. There is obviously a huge difference. Any idiot can see that. Any ways, I recommend that you go online and buy a sledge-o-matic as soon as possible while supplies last.
Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Sledge-O-Matic * Gallagher
* comedian * 80s * Internet * Home Depot * Leo * warning * injury * lawsuit * sledge hammer
* watermelon * instruction manual * disclaimer * home appliance * desctruction * demolishing
* slicing * dicing * commercial * consumerism * stupid * prop comic
posted by Mike K at 9/18/2006
2 Comments:
ha...hahahhahhahahahaha.hahahahahhahahahhahahhaahahaha
stop. that makes my hangover hurt.
*note to self- do not visit this site when hungover*
Is there still a link to these. i cant find one and NEEEEED one very soon
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