Thursday, July 27, 2006

'N Sync's Lance Bass is Gay, and No one Cares

It is no secret that I never liked the manufactured boy groups such as 'N Sync, Backstreet Boys, and New Kids on the Block. It's all crap and I would hope that the members of these groups would realize it. In what would be disturbing news to tweens everywhere and former fans, Lance Bass of 'N Sync has come out and stated for the record that he is gay and is in a very stable realtionship with a reality show star.

Lance: Quite Happy
In actuality this is not that big of news. All of us 'N Sync haters thought that someone in the band was gay. If not, we secretly hoped that it might be true just for piece of mind. Five heavily manicured guys singing cheesy songs while striking poses for tweens and middle age moms sends the gaydar into overdrive. Just imagine for a second if they weren't being paid millions of dollars for doing it!

Not a Manly Man's Group
So the question was... Who is it going to be? Justin Timberlake didn't appear to be gay, but the other guys: Lance, Joey, JC, and Chris I wasn't so sure about. Even at this time, it would not be surprising if they all announced that they were man lovers not that there is anything wrong with that.

The good news about this whole thing is that Lance is gay about being gay. Asked about his closet exit, Lance had this to say:

"The thing is, I'm not ashamed that's the one thing I went to say," Bass says. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life. I'm just happy."

To be honest with you I am happy for the guy. It must have been hard to have to hide who you were just because you were famous and didn't want to impact the careers of Justin, JC, Joey, and Chris. Granted he was lying to himself, but his behavior was commendable.

The unfortunate drawback to not making the announcement earlier was that we had to hear a crap load of 'N Sync tunes. This band was enormously popular with the Clear Channel group who controls 99.9% of all radio stations. God, it was awful! If Lance spends eternity in hell it won't be because of his lifestyle choice, it will be because he made some of the worst music I ever heard.

So who is Lance's sugar daddy? Apparently it is 32-year-old actor Reichen Lehmkuhl, who won season four of CBS' "Amazing Race." Kick ass! Lance picked out a winner. Good for you Lance. Good for you. For those of you who still need a Lance fix, he is developing a sitcom with Joey Fatone which is inspired by "The Odd Couple." In a twist of events, Lance's character will be gay.

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Anonymous Vegetbale Man said...

I knew this dude was queer as a four dollar bill ever since I saw him paired up with Emanuelle Chriqui (hot, Hispanic looking white actress) in some cheesy made-for-cable movie. Something about the way his attempts to seem hot for her were so terribly unconvincing gave the game away; this was not merely a horrible actor, this was a guy who had about as much capacity to relate to being hot for a girl as to being hot for a bottle of floor wax. Dude's a flamer.

7/27/2006 12:22:00 PM  
Blogger Mike K said...

I have to admit that I'm not up to date on the 'N Sync dudes. I got all their names from reading the article. But from what you are telling me... he is as outwardly gay as that Clay Aiken dude. Man that is funny stuff. I got to see if I can find that cable movie.

7/27/2006 01:28:00 PM  
Blogger Tom G said...

If his partner were someone more newsworthy, like say Jonerthon from Who's the Boss? then maybe I'd care. Then again, no I wouldn't.

7/27/2006 02:28:00 PM  

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