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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Boston Celtics Have Been Pittsnogled!!!

BOO-YAAHHH!!! The NBA Has Just Been Pittsnogled!!!


Well, at least now we know who will win the NBA Championship in 2007 - the Boston Celtics. For today the Boston Celtics signed former West Virginia center and current superhero Kevin Pittsnogle to a 2 year contract. In what is guaranteed to be the biggest blunder in the history of mankind, Kevin Pittsnogle was not drafted by a single team in this summer's NBA draft. There were rumors that teams were afraid to draft him and become the owner who singlehandedly caused suspense to be removed from the NBA game. For once Kevin Pittsnogle steps onto the court, victory is most definitely assured. Putting a hand in his face does no good, as you will just be Pittsnogled!!!

Contrary to persistent rumors circulating in the supermarket tabloids, Kevin Pittsnogle will not give up his crime fighting superhero job. He'll just have to work around his NBA schedule. I have a feeling that crime is about to get a lot less rampant in Boston now that Mr Pittsnogle's in town.

I also predict that the Boston Celtics will go 82-0 and win all 16 playoff games. Kevin Pittsnogle will win MVP, ROY, averaging 67.1 ppg while shooting 77.1% from 3 pt range. In his down time, Kevin Pittsnogle will find an answer to our country's dependence on oil and find the theory of everything, winning a Nobel Prize in the process. Just remember - You've Been Pittsnogled!!!

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