Shooting War: The Madness Continues in 2011

It's 2011 and the whole family is sitting 'round the kitchen table, enjoying a lovely little waffle breakfast, each golden pastry topped lovingly with a perfect dollop of Juanita's homemade strawberry jam. (Dick and Frannie hired Juanita based almost entirely on her aesthetic placement of strawberry jam dollops.)

Dad looks up from the paper, his crystal clear blue eyes lovingly finding his three beautiful teenage children as they carefully chew their waffles, gulping down each mouthful with a splash of Juanita's freshly squeezed orange juice.

"I'm think about our next vacation guys..." The Bobsey triplets perk up and sit straight.

"Oh yeah, Daddy? Where are we going to go this time? Florida again? Another cruise? Golfing in Arizona?"

"Oh, we'll be golfing all right, but not in Arizona... Guess what kids, we're finally going to the Texaco Crystal Crown Golf Club...!

"In Baghdad, Daddy? Oh boy!"

"Yes, kids, that's right, I've been trying for the last six months to get a reservation, but it's been just impossible. As you know, Iraq is booming with tourism these days, thanks to the new Ali Babba theme park, the Halliburton Casinos and Uncle Sam's Waterpark Village!

Kids, I know you've heard this from me a thousand times, but I'll say it again: Thank the Lord Jesus Christ for what the George Bushes have done for this great land. If father and son didn't orchestrate one of the most brilliant military involvements of all time, we might not be sitting here today enjoying these waffles as we look out of our gated community over the terrorist-free ocean. I mean, thanks to the Dubya, our precious little Princess Cove remained suicide-bomb-free throughout the entire War on Terrorism. And now, of course, Iraq is liberated and predominantly white, gas costs for all of our SUVs are manageable again and Las Vegas is yesteryear's desert oasis resort, now that the Baghdad Beautification Project is nearly complete.

He was right, kids - the world is now a MUCH BETTER place because of him. Whaddya say kids, how about a little prayer circle?"

"That's a perfect way to start the day, Daddy! But shouldn't we have Mommy in here, too?"

"I think Mommy's gonna sit this one out - she's a little tired this morning... looks like someone got into Mommy's white wine cellar again last night.... Hmmmm."

"Oh, not again!"

(chuckle chuckle, hee haw, laughy laughy)

OR, there's another version of the future, as presented by Smith Magazine:

"The year is 2011, and Jimmy Burns, a young blogger for Global TV (GTV), has just seen his Williamsburg apartment blown to bits by another terrorist attack on New York City. He's recorded the gruesome scene on his videoblog camera—and becomes an overnight sensation. Exploited by his own network, enraged by the terrorists, Burns goes to Iraq to get the real story—a story brought to you over the course of eight weeks only on SMITH."

The online graphic novel is powerfully written / illustrated by Anthony Lappé and Dan Goldman and offers a potentially realistic (unfortunately) view of the not-so-far away future. Thank you very much, Mr. and Mr. Bush.

You can read the first few "chapters" here.


Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat
* conservative * liberal * congress * Iraq * war * 2011 * future * gated community * Baghdad
* golfing * cruise * waffles * SUV * oil * Juanita * Texaco * Halliburton