Friday, June 30, 2006

Rob Schneider Almost Killed by His Movie

The New York Times reports that after watching 23 minutes of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo for the first time, Rob Schneider collapsed into a pool of his own vomit. Unfortunately, his long time friend Henry White was around to revive him.

"Rob had me over to watch this movie, which he claimed was a masterpiece. I thought what the hell, it beats rubbing my mom's feet," stated Henry White. "The next thing I know he's looking a little bit purple. He stands up, vomits, and then falls face first into it. I didn't have the heart to tell him that movie was no masterpiece."

"I never thought it was a good movie," said Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo director Mike Bigelow. "The plot was as formless as dog poop roasting in the hot summer sun. Rob Schneider's acting is like watching the Coreys act out scenes from Police Academy 7. Speaking of which, the guy who made sounds with his mouth inspired me to become a director in the first place."

"My God, I can't believe I made that piece of shit," bemoaned Rob Schneider from a LA General hospital bed. "I thought it was good. Mike told me it was. Looks like I will have to work with another director for Deuce Bigalow: Australian Gigolo."

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