Karl Rove Steals Doughnut, Wins Legal Battle

Karl Rove's lawyer Robert Luskin announced Monday evening that Karl Rove will not be indicted over the Valerie Plame affair causing tidal waves throughout the liberal controlled media.

"On June 12, 2006, special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not contemplate seeking charges against Karl Rove,"a boisterous Luskin said in a televised statement. "It looks like Bush's policies are working and Karl Rove is doing a heck of a job."

The fat presidential aide stood besides Luskin while he announced the statement frantically trying to steal Luskin's doughnut. At one point in time the press conference was stopped to address the issue.

"Excuse, me for a moment. Do you mind not trying to take my damn doughnut, Karl? Really you already had six of them," said a peeved Luskin. "Anyways, as I was saying Karl Rove is a wonderful man with a heart of gold and flesh colored hair. I could go on and on. Did I mention his jolly nature?"

"Damnit, Karl. How could you steal doughnut. You f*cking bastard! To think I protected your lying..... I mean... er... Good one Karl," said a blushing Luskin.

Newspapers and television outlets are reporting the Luskin announcement with much enthusiasm. The Fox News website has a petition to make 6/12, " National Karl Rove Day" complete with parades, booze, and hookers.

"Bush's popularity will soon swoon to 32% and then it might pass 33%. Who knows, it might even break 35%. Four more years! Four more years," said Bill O'Reilly in the no spin zone. "The Democrats do not have a chance. They have no agenda, no ideas whatsoever. Go Karl, it's your birthday. Go Karl, it your birthday."

"Now Bush will have the publics support to drop nukes on Iran, North Korea, China, Boston, and New York City. Thank God, America's greatest secret weapon, Karl Rove has escaped that evil liberal Patrick Fitzgerald," said smiling Sean Hannity.

"I guess Bush wins again. Hahaha... He sure is a good president," said Alan Colmes. "What a leader! Much better than anything on the Left has to offer."

"We should send anthrax packets to all those liberals. It's the patriotic thing to do to these American hating people who hurt the reputation of this poor, poor man. Karl, call me. I want to lick your fore head and be your concubine," said human corpse Ann Coulter.

Tags:
* comedy * humor * funny * silly * politics * president * george bush * republican * democrat
* conservative * liberal * congress * entertainment * pop culture * Karl Rove * lawyer
* Robert Luskin * doughnut * Valerie Plame * Joe Wilson * liberal media * corporate media
* Patrick Fitzgerald * Fox News * Ann Coulter * Bill O'Reilly * Iraq * war on terror * Iran
* North Korea * China * Boston * New York City * Alan Colmes * Sean Hannity * concubine * guilty