Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Which Golden Girl Are You?

The original desperate housewives

It's been said often that all men can be grouped based on which Golden Girl that would choose to sleep with. So I will break it down for ya:


  1. Dorothy - You are openly gay, blind, or suicidal. I guess you could also have extreme low self esteem or just really loathe yourself. All comatose men also fall into this category.
  2. Sophia - It's possible you are 90+ years old. But most likely, you are a former or current frat guy. And you're the frat guy type who waits until a girl is almost passed out at a party or bar and then just starts making out with them. These guys are sexual predators who come close to sexual assault almost every day. You are despicable and should be removed from this planet.
  3. Stan - Dude, you are gay - please be proud about it. Of course, Stan guys are less flamboyant than Dorothy guys.
  4. Rose - You have lived in your parents house for your entire life. Either one or both still live there or you inherited the house after they died. You have never kissed a girl but look forward to talking to the cashier when you buy your groceries on Saturday nights. Maybe you should ask her out? No, that would be too forward. I'm sure she gets asked by a lot of guys. She does smile at me whenever I stop by and asks me how I'm doing. Maybe I should ask her out? But if she says no I'll have to drive to the store a mile further down the road and...
  5. Blanche - You are a guy who's been divorced multiple times. You think you are a ladies man but really are pathetic - thank God you have no standards. Most likely you are never seen without a shirt halfway unbuttoned with all your chest hairs dying to escape into the atmosphere. It's likely you were once a Sophia guy who decided to settle down after college and realized how despicable you once were.

So which Golden Girl am I??? None - dude, that's disgusting. I now have to throw up for picturing the Golden Girls in some naked orgy with a blind man, a frat boy, a wolfman, and a weird guy in the corner with a picture of his deceased mother. I, like most men, have never thought about nor would choose under any circumstance to have sex with a Golden Girl.

Tags:
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *
* * *

at

1 comment: