Remember the good old days when you could go to the airport 45 minutes before your flight, get on, grab a pillow, and be promptly served with some pretzels and a refreshing soft drink?
Oh... you still can do that? Well not for too much longer buddy. The airlines are fighting back and guess who is going to pay for it? Give up? Well this FAQ provided by the Airline Association should clear things up.
Assigned seating?
It's going to cost you. Extra leg room is premium dude, but we'll only charge you $15.00, because we like you. Man your friends back home will be jealous over the 5 extra inches you get!
Paper tickets?
My God! Think of the trees! Pay the tree tax, it's the law.
Blankets?
Yes, we will most certainly charge you for a disease infested blanket, thank you very much. Want a pillow to go along with that? Oh good, that is an extra dollar for us! No, you don't get to keep those items! How dare you?
Making a reservation on the phone?
Please do, we get an extra 5-10 big ones that way.
Soft Drink?
We would love to offer you one of our fine beverages for a dollar.
Pretzels?
It costs a nickel for each one. Fifty Cents for a package! By far the best deal around.
How about breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Don't worry we still got that and at a fantastic deal too! For five bucks you can eat a moldy sandwich with the saddest looking cheese you've ever seen! The lettuce wilted 3 days ago, but it is still perfectly edible.
What about Snacks?
Oh we got a delicious snack pack for $4.00 filled with all sorts of good munchy crunchies. It's made by some indigenous native tribe somewhere in Africa and packaged in South Korea. It's quite a snack pack!
Can I bring outside food?
Let me pose this question: Why do you think we have air marshals on these flights? For characters like you! Thanks for flying with us.
By the way it is rumoured that Continental still respects their flyers. Click here for the article.
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* comedy * humor * funny * silly * entertainment * pop culture * Airplane * Airlines * Northwest
* flyers * Delta * Air Canada * Delta * American Airlines * American Eagle * Southwest
* Continental
I remember when I could get a bag of popcorn and a pair of shoes for 4 bits down at Doc's General Store.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the airline industry needs to do this as most major carriers are bankrupt. Airlines will just go the way of phone companies, thank you free enterprise. Soon we will be able to choose between 3-4 airlines. Soon there will be 3-4 national banks.
Thanks so much anonymous (eyes rolling). Might need to put that sign in thing back...Who actually responds to these things?
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I liked what he said about that extra money!
ReplyDelete